VectorLinux

The Vectorian Lounge => The Lounge => Topic started by: Windozer on February 05, 2009, 06:13:05 pm

Title: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 05, 2009, 06:13:05 pm
(http://gallery.tiker.net/d/1088-2/linux-the-detergent.jpeg)
clipped from http://gallery.tiker.net/v/andreas/funny/linux-the-detergent.jpeg.html (http://gallery.tiker.net/v/andreas/funny/linux-the-detergent.jpeg.html)
Title: Re: Wash Windows and Your Laundry Too !
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 05, 2009, 06:28:47 pm
Does the Linux company make any ... heavy duty cleaning products?
Title: Re: Wash Windows and Your Laundry Too !
Post by: tomh38 on February 05, 2009, 07:39:04 pm
Made me think of this:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/tux_demon_camping_burning_windows.jpg?t=1233891441)

and this:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/tux-ufo.jpg?t=1233891504)
Title: Re: Wash Windows and Your Laundry Too !
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 05, 2009, 07:40:20 pm
Made me think of this:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/tux_demon_camping_burning_windows.jpg?t=1233891441)

Niiiice forest
Title: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 06, 2009, 11:29:40 am
I think it would be nice to have a humor thread.  Naturally I wouldn't recommend anything vulgar, bigoted, or otherwise offensive.

So, for all you Cthulhu Mythos fans out there, here's one of the lamest jokes I could think of:

Knock-Knock!

Who's there?

Cthul!

Cthul who?

(shoggoths cackle maniacally at thier own juvenile humor)

- from an unpublished short story by H.P. Lovecraft

And, from the cartoon "Foxtrot":
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/foxtrot2003-06-05.gif?t=1233948422)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 06, 2009, 11:47:41 am
Dear Tom,
this is disgusting!
Humor is a serious thing and nothing to make jokes about. At the end you might find this entertaining or for fun. In the name of science I have to remind you that it was a serious task for scientific research to find the worlds most funny joke, and this was something which should not be done away so easily.

Please refer to:

http://www.laughlab.co.uk/

So please think earnestly before you start inadequate laughing.

Seriously,

Carsten (presently operating on the blue pills and straighjacket)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 06, 2009, 12:05:08 pm
Dear Tom,
this is disgusting!
Humor is a serious thing and nothing to make jokes about. At the end you might find this entertaining or for fun. In the name of science I have to remind you that it was a serious task for scientific research to find the worlds most funny joke, and this was something which should not be done away so easily.

Please refer to:

http://www.laughlab.co.uk/

So please think earnestly before you start inadequate laughing.

Seriously,

Carsten (presently operating on the blue pills and straightjacket)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 06, 2009, 12:15:06 pm
Hey Carsten!

Long time no talk-to!

Great link by the way.  Reminded me of that Monty Python piece where the joke was so funny it killed you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhmnOpoGAPw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhmnOpoGAPw)

Blue pills ... aren't those the ones for, um ... never mind.

Then there's this, from Penny Arcade:

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/20020722h.gif?t=1233950799 (http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/20020722h.gif?t=1233950799)

Kind of large to post here, and resizing it would probably make it illegible.

Finally, I found the following image hilarious, but I'm not posting it here because it's definitely not safe for work, because it contains sorta-kinda nudity:  http://www.sarda.es/fotos/linux-o-windows/linux.jpg.  I posted a warning.  I hope that's enough.  If you think you might be offended, please don't click it.

Carsten, I really like that British ... er ... UK ... um Welsh? ... let's go with "UK."  That wry, dry, UK wit of yours.  Unless you're from somewhere else.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 06, 2009, 01:28:06 pm

ad 1) Blue pills ... aren't those the ones for, um ... never mind.

Then there's this, from Penny Arcade:


ad 2) Carsten, I really like that British ... er ... UK ... um Welsh? ... let's go with "UK."  That wry, dry, UK wit of yours.  Unless you're from somewhere else.

Howdy Tom,

ad 1) That solves why my girlfriend is feeding me on the pills!
Thanks for tipping me

ad 2) I am GERMAN
In our country, especially during carnival, every punch line of a joke has to be announced by a jingle of a brass band.
I think tis will become common law with Mrs. Merkel during this period of legislature

Nice to talk to you again as well,

Carsten
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 06, 2009, 02:06:38 pm
Hello again, Carsten,

I don't know why I had the impression that you were from the UK.  Perhaps it's because your English is better than mine, which is probably true of most Germans.  Anyway, let's call it that well-educated, sophisticated German wit of yours.

We have something in common.  Most of my ancestors came to the US from Germany.  We even have Oktoberfest here where I live.  My grandfather on my father's side spoke German, though I never really knew him, since he died when I was only two years old.

I've been to Germany on a few occasions.  Very nice country, good food, friendly people, excellent beer.

Perhaps a little more humor is in order, since this is supposed to be a humor thread:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/cautionary.png?t=1233957846)
Title: Re: Wash Windows and Your Laundry Too !
Post by: Windozer on February 06, 2009, 02:38:44 pm
As starter of this thread, I hereby move that the thread be washed, rinsed, and hung out to dry here:

http://forum.vectorlinux.com/index.php?topic=8462.msg57419#msg57419

HEY!? Whatz Up? Wasn't I here already - it's deja view all over.

( Self referential threads are like making faces at yourself in the mirror. 
And if you can't bring your self to do that, please re-read this thread.  :P | :P
;D )
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: nightflier on February 06, 2009, 04:11:45 pm
Topics merged as requested. End result a little jumbled, but I'm sure you guys can figure it out. Actually, knowing this crowd, you'll probably even have some fun with that too!  ;D
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 06, 2009, 05:37:03 pm
"End result a little jumbled, [...] knowing this crowd, you'll probably even have some fun with that too!  Grin"

DOH! Er, Ah, Thanks, Nightflier  :-\  :P

but I didn't request that this be put through the SPIN Cycle! Now what a tangle of threads we have.

(Credit goes to Tom, for starting the humor thread, which, actually begins in the middle.  ??? ::) )

"Who's on Third?"

or rather, WHOIS on third?
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 06, 2009, 05:45:50 pm
WinDoze,

Good thinking there.  I should have thought of it myself, but I may have been a little groggy at the time.  Must be the cough syrup.  ;D

In honor of the merger, I would like to post this:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v390/doormouse/sandwich.png)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 06, 2009, 05:50:01 pm
LOL --- success to the merger!

(And scroll back up - I edited my "proposal post" just as you were posting your "proposal toast" 

Speaking of groggy, pass me some of that cough syrup --- I think we're going to need it to untangle this thread!

Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: nightflier on February 06, 2009, 06:40:56 pm
Just as I suspected  :P

Fohgeddabawd the cough syrup, I'm having a stout!
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 06, 2009, 06:57:16 pm
WinDoze

Nice signature you picked out for yourself

However, a more idiomatic translation would be

利纳克斯万岁

That is, Li4 na4 ke4 si1 wan4 sui4 ... I've only ever seen 'wan4 sui4' come at the end and, as the forum Orientalist, I hope this is accurate
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 06, 2009, 11:08:30 pm
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/closedak61.jpg?t=1233990375)

For some reason this is the only version of the infamous laughing Quaker which I find funny.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Pita on February 07, 2009, 03:43:23 am


ad 2) I am GERMAN

Carsten

Then please spell your name korrektly KKKKarsten  ;)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 07, 2009, 07:45:09 am


ad 2) I am GERMAN

Carsten

Then please spell your name korrektly KKKKarsten  ;)

 :-*
I am legally entitled to spell my name this way, no fun!
This is the form the name is used by the northern Germans, which by decret de Mufti are superior to the southern crowd of Germany  ;D https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/de/wiki/Carsten

One man runs into a bar....
The second ducks down (very lame joke)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 07, 2009, 08:00:06 am
Carsten,

As far as I'm concerned, you can call yourself M0rph3uS if you like!  On the Intertubes, you can be whoever you want to be.

By the way, I'm 7 feet tall, I have a black belt in six different martial arts, am very muscular, have a degree in theoretical physics, and I can paint perfect Monet reproductions with my feet while typing with my hands.

I was just thinking that if we wanted more women in proportion to men in Linux, all we would really need is for the men to be nicer and more respectful toward women.  If we wanted a higher proportion of men, we would probably have to hire strippers or something.   May that woman in the not safe for work picture that I linked which you shouldn't click if nudity offends you would increase the number of men.

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 08:17:50 am
Quote from: carsten
ad 2) I am GERMAN

viele Grüße, Carsten!

Hab' ich in Hamburg und Berlin mehrer Jahre rum gegurkt.  In 'Hamburgsgh' spricht mann, ja, beinah zu viel Plaaddüütsch  :P ;D

ciao,
Howard in Florida
~~~~~~~~~~~
PS. Here, were pretty flat too  :D
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 07, 2009, 08:23:30 am
Wow, Howard in Florida speaks not only some weird dialect of German but also knows the word "ciao."  Impressive.  :D
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 08:29:55 am
And you forgot the Chinese sig. at the bottom.

Well, if that's not impressive enough, you should know that I've got 67 black belts in Language Impersonation.

"And now for something completely different, a man with" a GPS running Vista:


(http://www.sarda.es/humor/limusina-en-problemas.jpg)

Found on that same 'naughty' site Tom linked to above. (Say, looks like she's running a dual processor there!)  ::)

(Apologies to our women friends --- know that my wife it 'tweeking my ear lobes right now for that one! OUCH OUCH STOP IT!)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 07, 2009, 08:54:47 am
Carsten,

ad 1) As far as I'm concerned, you can call yourself M0rph3uS if you like!  On the Intertubes, you can be whoever you want to be.

ad 2) By the way, I'm 7 feet tall, I have a black belt in six different martial arts, am very muscular, have a degree in theoretical physics, and I can paint perfect Monet reproductions with my feet while typing with my hands.

ad 3) I was just thinking that if we wanted more women in proportion to men in Linux, all we would really need is for the men to be nicer and more respectful toward women.  If we wanted a higher proportion of men, we would probably have to hire strippers or something.   May that woman in the not safe for work picture that I linked which you shouldn't click if nudity offends you would increase the number of men.

Tom

Hy Tom,
ad 1)
I prefer to call myselve Carsten, my enemies (the few still alive and capable of using their vocal chords) can call me whatever they want. But many thanks for your concerns  ;)

ad 2)
No chance against a demented compulsive liar of 5'3" with 30kg overweight, but a licence to issue restraint orders (that is my lawyer, a real mean guy 8) )

ad 3)
You will find hardly somebody more gentle to girls than me  ;D
If we want to make Linux sexy for girls I propose
a) Fine tune the logo (Californian Beach Boy Penguin style)
b) Put it into nicely designed Macintosh style Hardware with decent colours and smooth curves

Otherwise Girls are not in the slightest interested in what is going on under the hood of their car or their computer as long as it works smooth and simple,

Carsten
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 07, 2009, 09:07:04 am
ROFLCOPTER

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/200px-Roflcopter.gif?t=1234026101)

Just sayin', but my girlfriend knows more about automotive engineering than I do (which isn't saying much, but she actually knows quite a bit, such as what a "hemi" is - but she comes from a "car" family, whereas I come from a "drive it until only the rust is holding it together, and then drive it some more until it actually falls apart" family.  I did rebuild bicycles as a young boy, though.  Then my friends and I would drive them up ramps and crash them.  Then we would rebuild them and destroy them again.  Then one of my friends broke his leg, and suddenly we all started either reading books or watching television.

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 07, 2009, 09:11:22 am

viele Grüße, Carsten!

Hab' ich in Hamburg und Berlin mehrer Jahre rum gegurkt.  In 'Hamburgsgh' spricht mann, ja, beinah zu viel Plaaddüütsch  :P ;D

ciao,
Howard in Florida
~~~~~~~~~~~
PS. Here, were pretty flat too  :D


Hy,
next time you show up in Hamburg give me a call  :D

Florida, isnt it the home of retired citizens of the US ::) with the official slogan

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

http://www.ahajokes.com/florida_jokes.html

Carsten
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 07, 2009, 09:20:45 am
ROFLCOPTER


Just sayin', but my girlfriend knows more about automotive engineering than I do (which isn't saying much, but she actually knows quite a bit, such as what a "hemi" is - but she comes from a "car" family

Tom, if for any reason your girlfriend should have taken offense  :o from my very generalised statement please transmit my most sincere apologizes.
I am more than enthusiastic to invite her for a candle light diner as excuse.  ;D (as I said, you will find hardly somebody more gentle to the fair sex than me)
You can destroy some more bicycles while we are out, I propose,  8)

Carsten
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 07, 2009, 10:24:48 am
Carsten,

Oh, she wouldn't take offense.  She would probably agree with you.  She's actually a stronger advocate of emphasizing the diffences between men and women than I am.

These days, the only things I work on are computers, and I can't wreck them because there's no fun in it and it would be very expensive.

Dilbert

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/linux_rules.jpg?t=1234030978)

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 07, 2009, 10:26:55 am
And you forgot the Chinese sig. at the bottom.

Like I said, you probably want 'wan sui' at the end rather than the beginning. I can't verify whether 'penguin OS' is something someone would actually say (or write).

Cool that you're interested in languages anyway. Bonus points for whoever can guess the antecedent of 'WIR' in my signature.

As for lulz, I've got plenty of them

What Really Happened to Abe Lincoln (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4Uf9rsBbhc)

The comments knocking transhumanism in this thread are also pretty lulwert:

http://www.metafilter.com/72269/A-satirical-rendering-of-Transhumanism
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: nightflier on February 07, 2009, 01:16:07 pm
And you forgot the Chinese sig. at the bottom.

Either I am missing some font package, or there is some deep symbolism in a series of squares.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 07, 2009, 01:21:46 pm
And you forgot the Chinese sig. at the bottom.

Either I am missing some font package, or there is some deep symbolism in a series of squares.

It says 'wan4 sui4 qi3 e2 zuo4 ye4 xi4 tong3', although 'Li4 na4 ke4 si1 wan4 sui4' is a safer (and more grammatically correct) alternative

Sorry it just kind of bugs me
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 03:53:51 pm
Quote from: carsten
next time you show up in Hamburg give me a call  :D

Thanks, Carsten
we don't get over there much these days - too busy working (and goofing off here)--- will do if we go --- are you in the Hamburg area?

Quote
Florida, home of the retired citizens of the US with the official slogan

Actually, it's:

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids, but not about our floppy fishing hats or Bermuda shorts!


RE: florida_jokes.html - and some "Dumb" Florida Laws:


Ever seen a retiree singing in a bathing suit?
Not a pretty sight.


Because it adversely affects tourism.


(See item above)



OK, we'll admit it. This is a real problem here in Florida
- second only to illicit aligator wrestling.



Well, OBVIOUSLY we have huricane and wind problems here -
and our governor is trying his best to reduce global warming...

Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 04:59:02 pm
Quote from: Epic Fail Guy
Quote
... the Chinese sig. at the bottom.

Sorry it just kind of bugs me


(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/vader2.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 07, 2009, 05:04:26 pm
wat

If anything you should find my grammar Nazism disturbing
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 05:12:40 pm
這位充溢著「原力」的天行者陸克,正是讓帝國黑武士Bill憂懼不安的源頭
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 05:14:53 pm
Quote from: WinDoze
the Chinese sig.
Either I am missing some font package, or there is some deep symbolism in a series of squares.

Both!
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 07, 2009, 05:19:59 pm
這位充溢著「原力」的天行者陸克,正是讓帝國黑武士Bill憂懼不安的源頭

I can barely make sense of this

What do you mean to say?
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 06:23:08 pm
"Linux-sponsors - 29-year-old former University of Helsinki, Finland Information Department Prestowitz (Linus Torvalds), grow a brown, 170 cm high, gentle words, like a little boy laughed. 'The overflowing of "Force" in Luke Skywalker, it is so black samurai empire Bill disturbing source of fear.'"

ref:
http://www.bnext.com.tw/LocalityView_6018 (http://www.bnext.com.tw/LocalityView_6018)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 07, 2009, 06:32:51 pm
You can't have a humor thread without at least a few cat pictures, so here are two:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/motivator457382b.jpg?t=1234059352)

Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 07, 2009, 06:34:11 pm
Oh, and just for the heck of it, here's my little buddy Max

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/max2.jpg?t=1234060158)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 06:57:32 pm
Quote from: nightflier
Either I am missing some font package, or there is some deep symbolism in a series of squares.

Actually, Nightflier, I just realized that it can also be the browser...

I tried this in VL6 rc  3 ... SeaMonkey gives you the "deeply symbolic squares"  8), but Opera shows the correct Chinese char set. Not sure why that is.

Actually, the secret squares are more fun than the real McCoy ...

Lin Woo McCoy that is.  ;D

- H
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 07:05:54 pm
武士Bill憂懼

@EFG: least you forget that this is the humor thread...
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: StrayBit on February 07, 2009, 07:46:50 pm
Quote
Actually, Nightflier, I just realized that it can also be the browser...

I tried this in VL6 rc  3 ... SeaMonkey gives you the "deeply symbolic squares"
Ditto 5.9 Gold - and a lot of the references I don't see either!  For examples both of Toms post (#39 & 40) show a single line of text.  And there was a thread discusing Linux art work - I've yet to see it except in a screen shot one of the participants put in reply to my question.

PS:  Those "deeply symbolic squares" look a lot better in the summary below Post Reply.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 07, 2009, 07:57:46 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ-Okkpgeh4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ-Okkpgeh4)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: carsten on February 07, 2009, 09:39:31 pm
You can't have a humor thread without at least a few cat pictures, so here are two:




According to scientific research ducks are the most funny animals.
I propose to make it illegal for participants in this thread to sent in pictures on non-humorous animals as cats.
Second I propose that it will be mandatory to have at least a reference to Donald Duck (or a quotation from his epic humorous work) in the message.
Finally we want to generate high qualtiy humor here.
Quack

Carsten
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 07, 2009, 10:03:01 pm
Psyduck combined with Slowpoke

The ultimate

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Y83M7yFzIoY/RvxxM07OZ5I/AAAAAAAAARY/nZWH9TD1SEQ/s400/Slowpoke%2BPsyduck.png)

Equally humorous is this delightful Kittelsen painting, Pesta Farer Landet Rundt (The Plague Travels Throughout the Land):

(http://mikro.nasjonalmuseet.no/kittelsen/images/big/NG.KH.B.00061.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 08, 2009, 07:10:25 am
First post!!!1!

Oh wait ...

[nevermind]Never mind.[/nevermind]
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 08, 2009, 11:52:43 am
All right, in an early post in this thread I said something to the effect of "no vulgarity."  I'm going to give myself a minor exception here, because 1) I'm not posting something vulgar, I'm linking to it and 2) I think it's pretty funny, and probably wouldn't offend anybody except possibly very serious Star Wars fans.

Still, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.  If you think you might be offend by AT-ATs engaging in ... odd behavior ... please don't click the link.

Rule 34:  If it exists, there's porn of it.  No exceptions.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/rule-34-at-at.jpg?t=1234122649 (http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/rule-34-at-at.jpg?t=1234122649)

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 08, 2009, 12:05:54 pm
(03:03:08 PM) pyohlin: http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/rule-34-at-at.jpg?t=1234122649
(03:04:10 PM) BlackwaterBoy92: insensitive
(03:04:34 PM) pyohlin: lol
(03:04:42 PM) pyohlin: best response ever
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 08, 2009, 12:58:23 pm
I'm reeeeallly excited about the upcoming release.

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/vector.jpg?t=1234126617)

Quick & Dirty

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 08, 2009, 02:52:58 pm
(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/a/a4/Slowpoke_goes_to_heaven.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Pita on February 08, 2009, 06:38:24 pm


..the northern Germans, which by decret de Mufti are superior to the southern crowd of Germany  ;D

Sofar the funniest statement on this thread. ;)

Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 09, 2009, 04:31:10 am
I know it's an old joke, but I was seriously thinking about printing this up and putting it on the back of my car, but then I realized it would be a bad idea for a number of reasons.  First, people wouldn't get it.  Second, it would be trademark infringement.  Third, and finally, if anybody did get it they might take it seriously.  I don't think I need to explain why that would be bad.  So I'm just putting it here in the humor thread, so you people can flame me for being a brain-damaged fool.

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/1406342-C.jpg?t=1234182570)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 09, 2009, 08:42:25 am
And with that, the comedy team of Tom and Howard would like to divert this thread,
driving it right into the ditch, with, 
yes - you guessed it - the ...

[fanfare please]

(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/fanfare-trumpets-XSmall.jpg)

(Vector)Linux  BumperSticker MiniThread

RULES:


Winners will receive accolades from everyone on the forum (even if they don't read the thread).
And the winners will have the satisfaction of visualizing the knowing grins (and befuddled smirks)
of drivers around the world...

So let's start!

Here's my first go:

_____________________

  Get Real, Get Linux!   
_____________________

_____________________________________

  Someday, the Meek and the Nerds will
   inherit the Earth - then there will be
           Peace, Love, and Linux
_____________________________________

_______________________________________

 Almost threw my Computer out the Windows
          - until I found Vector Linux!
_______________________________________
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 09, 2009, 08:49:43 am
Here's another:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/1406342-E.jpg?t=1234197338)


EDIT:  Ooops.  Sorry Windoze!  I jumped the gun on our contest.  Mine don't count.  Think of them as "priming the pump."
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 09, 2009, 10:08:18 am
Quote from: tomh38
Ooops.  Sorry Windoze!  I jumped the gun ...

(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/stooges2.jpg)
"You numbskull ! - why I otta ..."  :P ;D
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 09, 2009, 12:18:30 pm
(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/b/b7/N751937523_1358010_2775.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 10, 2009, 12:28:34 pm
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/linuxwars.jpg?t=1234297613)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 10, 2009, 12:36:00 pm
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/dilbert200718326601251.gif?t=1234298099)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 11, 2009, 10:43:55 am
New bumper sticker:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/redhat2.jpg?t=1234377747)

Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 12, 2009, 09:28:23 am
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/reiserlinux.jpg?t=1234459616)

I'll just wait over here for the lightning.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 12, 2009, 11:31:19 am
Yikes, Tom, who is that zombie-looking guy ?
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 12, 2009, 01:17:09 pm
Windoze,

Working under the assumption that you're not joking, I'll give you this link:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_reiser (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_reiser).

If you were joking ... well, you got me!

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 12, 2009, 05:04:27 pm

A bumpersticker I'd like to see:


(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/comp-evo-bumper.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 13, 2009, 01:29:18 am
We all know this one is true:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/43_kreatiff_ziza_151430.jpg?t=1234517209)

Well, maybe not your grandma, but there's at least one who can.  That's proof of the possibility at the very least.

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 13, 2009, 08:07:09 am
Steve Ballmer selling Windows 1.0:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGvHNNOLnCk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGvHNNOLnCk)

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 13, 2009, 08:08:37 am
EXCEPT IN NEBRASKA
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 13, 2009, 11:49:44 am
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/compiling.jpg?t=1234554566)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on February 13, 2009, 12:06:49 pm
LMAO... That's pretty funny!. xD
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 13, 2009, 12:19:20 pm
Here's something I though was kinda funny (http://hansbrickersnonrandomthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/02/heres-something-you-dont-want-to-read.html).

Tom

M0E-lnx:  If you haven't looked at xkcd (http://xkcd.com), it can be pretty funny.

Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on February 13, 2009, 12:38:51 pm

M0E-lnx:  If you haven't looked at xkcd (http://xkcd.com), it can be pretty funny.


I've looked at that one every now and again... cracks me up every time.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on February 13, 2009, 03:43:08 pm
I used to post on the xkcd fora

But most of the people there are nerdy in an extremely narrow-minded and unpleasant way
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 13, 2009, 07:41:47 pm
More Dilbert ...

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/clip_image001_2.gif?t=1234582877)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 14, 2009, 12:55:11 pm
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/linux-tattoo.jpg?t=1234644881)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 16, 2009, 03:52:58 pm
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/linuxguru.gif?t=1234828326)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 16, 2009, 07:23:55 pm
BWWAAAHHHHH HAA HAAA !!
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 18, 2009, 06:29:54 am
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/linux-xbox.gif?t=1234967344)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on February 18, 2009, 06:38:12 am
LOL..

That's hilarious
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 18, 2009, 08:16:34 am
I'm going to post a link to an image which would probably be considered Not Safe For Work, at least in some workplaces.  It's not pornographic, except possibly in the very broadest sense of the term.  I thought it was funny, which is why I'm posting the link.  If you think you might be offended, please don't look at it.

Anyway, you can find the image here (http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/robotica_small.jpg?t=1234973374).

Tom

EDIT:  Credit goes to Maxpower42069 of Fark.com for creating the image.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on February 18, 2009, 10:17:57 am
LOL... that's pretty good
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 20, 2009, 07:51:05 am
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/badgcov.jpg?t=1235144757)

It's a real book.  Take a look here (http://www.amazon.com/Installing-Linux-Dead-Badger-Snyder/dp/1894953479/ref=si3_rdr_bb_product?tag=murl-20).
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 20, 2009, 06:57:19 pm
Five Stars --- and eligible for Free Shipping...

Tom, I think we're in the wrong business!


Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on February 21, 2009, 07:25:39 am
Ever heard the control-freak knock knock joke?

ME:  Knock Knock!

ME: OK, now you say, "who's there?"

YOU: ::) ;D


Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 26, 2009, 08:28:11 am
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/vi-emacs2.jpg?t=1235665658)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: uelsk8s on February 28, 2009, 08:13:40 am
http://pastebin.ca/1349578
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on February 28, 2009, 03:16:48 pm
uelsk8s:

That was hilarious.  I hadn't seen that Dave Barry column before.  Since I've had that particular *cough* procedure, I can say that he's also basically on target about what it's like.

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on March 09, 2009, 02:45:00 am
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/linux.jpg?t=1236591881)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 09, 2009, 06:44:03 pm
Tom,

I'm still having issues booting my dead badger !

 :P

- H
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on March 10, 2009, 01:50:45 am
Windozer:

Have you tried using MAGGOT* (Marginally Acronymous GRUB** Grabber Overscan Tables) as your bootloader?

HTH,

Tom

*MAGGOT grabs the the GRUB chainloader and recursively chainloads it it boot Linux (or FreeBSD or even Windows) on the dead badger (or other dead animal).
**GRand Unified Bootloader
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 10, 2009, 05:19:31 pm
Quote from: tomh38
Have you tried using MAGGOT as your bootloader?

Well, no.

I was using the ROADKILL* bootstrap --- before the FLY bios, of course.


*Really Obnoxious Animal Dependent, KDE-Implemented Linux Loader...
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: wcs on March 10, 2009, 06:42:12 pm
You people are on fire  :)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 10, 2009, 07:25:35 pm
             ~~~
~~~
OWW - Please extinguish me before I ignite the badger too!

Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: overthere on March 11, 2009, 11:10:09 pm
thanks for the laugh...dead badger...that's funny
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: dawnsboy on March 12, 2009, 03:29:57 pm
Badger?  We don't need no stinking badger....

http://www.butternutsquash.net/2008/10/07/we-dont-need-no-stinkin-badgers/ (http://www.butternutsquash.net/2008/10/07/we-dont-need-no-stinkin-badgers/)

 :o
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 15, 2009, 06:26:53 pm
(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/bootbad.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: The Headacher on March 17, 2009, 11:36:29 am
Badger?

http://badgerbadgerbadger.com/
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on March 18, 2009, 05:24:49 am
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/welcome.jpg?t=1237379034)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: wcs on March 18, 2009, 05:35:12 pm
Larson, right? Cannot beat that.  :)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: wcs on March 18, 2009, 05:36:21 pm
Quote
Badger?

http://badgerbadgerbadger.com/

Cannot get that out of my mind, now, Headacher!
"Mushroom, Mushroom..."
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 23, 2009, 05:53:52 pm
Courtesy of Kidd's blog @ http://puntoblogspot.blogspot.com/
______________________________________________________

(http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/2158/screenazy.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 28, 2009, 02:28:25 pm
It's been a *tough* week!

Sure could use some humor therapy right about now...

any good jokes or funnies ? ;D

thanks
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 28, 2009, 03:30:01 pm
OK,  THAT'S IT!   Since Nobody Has Come To My Rescue - You Asked For IT !


How many fatalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

- It doesn't matter, we're all going to die anyway.


How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- Only one, but it takes at least three lightbulbs.


How many windows programmers does it tae to change a lightbulb ?

- 391. One to write "WinGetLightBulbHandle",
one to write "WinGetLightBulbStatus",
one to write "WinGetLight.......


How many Technical Support folks does it take to change a lightbulb ?
- We have an exact copy of the bulb here, and it appears to work fine.
Can You tell me what kind af system You have ?
Okay, exactly how dark is it ?
Okay, there could be four or five things wrong...
Have You tried the light switch ??


How many cops does it take to screw n a lightbulb ?

- None. It turned itself in.


--- courtesy of, in a cut&paste ripped sort of way:
http://www.twisted.dk/light.htm (http://www.twisted.dk/light.htm)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: GrannyGeek on March 28, 2009, 06:36:23 pm
Has everyone seen this?
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BnLbv6QYcA&feature=channel
--GrannyGeek
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 28, 2009, 07:04:22 pm
Thanks, GG - that was great!
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on March 29, 2009, 11:54:09 pm
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/penguins1.jpg?t=1238396034)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: rbistolfi on March 30, 2009, 07:53:32 am
(http://www.caloi.com.ar/caloidoscopio_new/byn/byn51.gif)

Translation of the single line:
Quote
- Hi Rome? Please, with the Pope, it is urgent...
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on March 30, 2009, 08:17:41 am
LOL
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on March 30, 2009, 12:09:17 pm
hola Rodirigo !

with or without translation, that's good for a few LOL's :)

How do you say "that's hilarious" in Spanish?

- H

PS @ Tom --- I wonder if Bill Gates sees such things in bad dreams ;-)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on March 31, 2009, 07:57:11 am
Ok.. This has nothing to do with linux, but still hilarious... I thought i'd share it with everyone

There is quite a few images, so I had to do the thumbnail thingie...

Brace yourselves.

 

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE

(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/2227/44595361.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled.JPG)
(http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/6853/74745568.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled2.JPG)
(http://img22.imageshack.us/img22/2561/22899564.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled3.JPG)
(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/2808/85568259.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled4.JPG)
(http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/4359/64663009.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled5.JPG)
(http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/8528/95412071.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled6.JPG)
(http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/4605/20132302.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled7.JPG)
(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/4826/74189624.th.jpg) (http://upload.snelhest.org/images/090331untitled1.JPG)



EFFECTIVE MARCH 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management


Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 01, 2009, 11:34:55 am
"All your personal World Wide Website belong to CADIE"

Don't forget to 'poke the panda'!


http://cadiesingularity.blogspot.com/
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on April 01, 2009, 11:55:59 am
I'm sorry ... what?
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 01, 2009, 12:07:12 pm
top left-hand corner of that official google link !
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on April 01, 2009, 12:26:19 pm
ahh... I think I get it now...

"win a free google search"? WTH?
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 01, 2009, 07:08:09 pm
M0E, it's google's traditional, annual April fools joke  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: blurymind on April 04, 2009, 11:55:24 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVAH2KlvOBA

the classic windows el33t haxorer  :P
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: The Headacher on April 05, 2009, 02:06:02 am
(http://www.userfriendly.org/cartoons/archives/09apr/xuf012605.gif)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 10, 2009, 02:26:09 pm
All your Internets are belong to us!
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: rbistolfi on April 10, 2009, 09:10:22 pm
I was reading "Refutaion of Hell" by JL Borges, and I found this very funny. He is evaluating some arguments in favor of the eternity of hell. Borges rejects this idea. For him, the eternity is a Divine attribute and cant be present in hell.
The translation is impossible so this one can't even be bad:

"saying that the punishment has to be infinite because it was against God, who is infinite Being, is like saying that it has to be saint because God is, or that the fault against a tiger is striped."
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 11, 2009, 03:00:06 pm
Rodrigo, can you post the original in the original language?  ;D
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: rbistolfi on April 12, 2009, 08:05:42 am
Yes Sir, I include the whole paragraph. The sentence I quoted before is at the end:

Quote
Arribo ahora a la parte más inverosimil de mi tarea: las razones elaboradas por la humanidad a favor de la eternidad del infierno. Las resumiré en orden de creciente significación. La primera es de índole disciplinaria: postula que la temibilidad del castigo radica presisamente en su eternidad y que ponerla en duda es invalidar la eficacia del dogma y hacerle el juego al Diablo. Es argumento de orden policial, y no creo merezca refutación. El segundo se escribe así: La pena debe ser infinita porque la culpa lo es, por atentar contra la majestad del Señor, que es Ser infinito. Se ha señalado que esta demostración prueba tanto que se puede colegir que no prueba nada: prueba que no hay culpa venial, que son imperdonables todas las culpas. Yo agregaría que es un caso perfecto de frivolidad escolástica y que su engaño es la pluralidad de sentidos de la voz infinito, que aplicada al Señor quiere decir incondicionado y a pena quiere decir incesante, y a culpa nada que yo sepa entender. Además, argüir que es infinita una falta por ser atentatoria de Dios que es Ser infinito, es como argüir que es santa porque Dios lo es, o como pensar que las injurias inferidas a un tigre han de ser rayadas.

A saw a movie last night, in which some bad guys are invading Buenos Aires. The story happens in the 50's, when all the important things used to happen in a bar ;D. So the good guy, the hero, goes to the bar where the bad guys hang, just to prove his courage. The bar man approachs his table and says:

Quote
- If you don't have something to do, do it in another place.

:D
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 15, 2009, 05:55:05 pm
What is happening when you hear the landscaping foreman outside yelling, "Green side up, brown side down!" ?

Right, they are laying sod.

But what's going on when you hear the foreman yell, "Brown side up, brown side down!" ?

Yep, it's the City laying sod.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on April 15, 2009, 11:16:05 pm
Okay, since I brought up computer security in another thread and didn't get too many bites, here's another XKCD:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/security.png?t=1239862402)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: rbistolfi on April 16, 2009, 09:37:29 am
XKCD can't fail.
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on April 22, 2009, 12:48:15 pm
News item: kind of embarassing.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/fail-owned-swimmer-trapped-fail.jpg?t=1240429573 (http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/fail-owned-swimmer-trapped-fail.jpg?t=1240429573)

Not for the squeemish.  Possibly not safe for work.  If in doubt, don't click.

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on April 22, 2009, 02:11:40 pm
Oohhh.... That sounds painful...
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on April 23, 2009, 04:19:19 am
M0E-lnx,

I couldn't agree more, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for the guy.  You have to keep close track of your ... stuff ... or it might end up somewhere unpleasant.   ;D

Tom
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 23, 2009, 02:21:16 pm
Speaking of misplacing the Family Jewels,

what's wrong with this picture?!


(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/vectorjustwrong.jpg)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on April 27, 2009, 01:56:16 pm
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/magazine3.jpg?t=1240865693)
Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 29, 2009, 01:41:11 pm
Under the category ads we'd like to see:

(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/poodle.jpg)



Title: Re: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on April 30, 2009, 04:09:26 pm
When you want a chuckle, watch this site's video (it's too cute to be healthy) --- scroll down mid way...

http://lolcode.com/

(thanks to Tommy599)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on May 12, 2009, 07:01:48 am
Normally, puns are considered the lowest form of humor - only slightly above Lawyer jokes  :P
These, however, aren't too bad. (And apologies to our non-native English speakers.)

Puns, For the Educated Mind
 ---------------------------

 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 11. A hole has been fouud in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said, 'No change yet.'

 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 21. A backward poet writes inverse.

 22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

 23 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on May 20, 2009, 09:24:55 am
New Bumper Sticker:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/vectorbuntu1.jpg?t=1242836641)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Masta on May 21, 2009, 11:02:29 pm
New Bumper Sticker:

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/vectorbuntu1.jpg?t=1242836641)
that's just NOT funny    ....   lol
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on May 23, 2009, 04:32:54 am
(http://suckmybeatles.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/woiftm.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on May 24, 2009, 07:25:08 am
$ Klaatu barada nikto
....
dammit ....
su
**************
# Klaatu barada nikto

Okay .... okay ... yeah, yeah I think it's working now ...
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on May 27, 2009, 05:23:04 pm
This IS funny, and may already be flying around the net...

What Joe Cocker really sang at Woodstock:

http://www.elwp.com/Joe%20Cocker.html
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: tomh38 on June 03, 2009, 09:56:26 am
Found this somewhere ... I wonder if ssh would work?

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/telnet_mordor.jpg?t=1244048124)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on June 03, 2009, 01:30:18 pm
> I wonder if ssh would work?

Only if you have the One KeyRing!

<rimshot>
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on June 03, 2009, 07:09:36 pm
Found this somewhere ... I wonder if ssh would work?

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/telnet_mordor.jpg?t=1244048124)

(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y119/mangospanker/rock_into_mordor.jpg)

Also this made me laugh:

http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on June 08, 2009, 12:32:03 pm
> Also this made me laugh:

> http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/

Clearly written by a machine - like those computer college essay programs where you set parameters like 'percentage of 10-letter-long words per sentence' and 'obfusication factor'. Years ago, using GW-Basic I wrote recording-studio scheduling program that had funny, randomly generated error messages, with tons of words typed from the dictionary, like,

" Time slot already reserved, you labyrinthian kumquat galvanizer! "

or

" For better results, try smiling at your semaphores when the large nematodes laugh at the moon. "

or

" Wrong keypress, you Airborne Warthog! "

We soon discovered that it was potentially an excellent resource for naming punk rock bands. Here's a couple I remember it output:
 
" Hairdo Gnarlers "

" Metal Munching Toothpicks "

" Laughing Tomahawk Cruise Potatoes "
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on June 13, 2009, 01:15:04 pm
(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/attach.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on June 19, 2009, 05:49:23 pm
A candidate for Engrish.com:

" We care very much about our environment protection strategy ... and
  believe that it helps us have healthier earth via appropriate treatment and
  recycling of industrial technology devices at the end-of-life.

  These devices contain recyclable materials, which can be re-decomposed and
  re-integrated into brand new marvels. On the contrary, other material can be
  classified to hazardous and poisoned substances. We strongly encourage you
  to contact the provided information and to recycle yourself always. "
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on July 09, 2009, 02:39:50 pm
One-uping the 'dancing baby':

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on July 15, 2009, 12:52:59 pm
Better get your robot insurance before it's too late!

http://www.christianclips.com/videos/funny/Old_Glory_Robot_Insurance
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on July 24, 2009, 05:03:03 pm
Two atoms were walking down the road.

Suddenly, one begins to furiously pat down his pockets...

"Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" his friend asks.

"Yes, I'm positive!"
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on July 26, 2009, 02:59:58 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xg4nFcmeDo

Promoe - Svennebanan

Makes fun of Swedish "Joe Sixpacks"

Thanks so much kop kun khap (thank you)
Koh Phangan, Koh Tao, Khao Lak
F*** it in Phuket, ping-pong show
Call the people ching-chong ho's
Threesome in Greece, pretend to be super rich
Hungover as early as Friday
Mallis, Canary Islands
Mickey D's, let the kids play in the ballpit
A right style-icon with silicone
Lives in the same city you want to leave
Domestic violence, tanning bed sunburns
Get food, what the hell do we have at home
Out of gas and Croc shoes
Kids slumped in TV sofas
Keep things in order, box wine on Friday
Knowledge from Wikipedia
Teenage pregnancy
No one knows anxiety
Blackouts, children with your sister
Always want to be drunk

Dance "the bug," listen to Carola
Manicure, permanent hair
Reunion with junior high class
Envy the over-class (i.e., the upper crust)
And fawn over the royal family
Puke over day-after pills
Gossip about what happened this week
At the neighbors, moonshine and blacked out
Night poker, karaoke
You cannot always be bored
Finland ferry, Bon Jovi-covers
Livin' on a prayer, Looptroop Rockers
Classic car power meet
Pants too large ah! how nice
Brawl at McDonald's
Go home and get robbed about once a month
Attempt to swallow on the weekend
Pride from a beer bottle
A great tough guy and hotshot
How long has this gone on?
Screw it, good night and sleep well
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on September 02, 2009, 04:14:57 pm
(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/Startrek-BSoD.gif)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: unicyclist on September 03, 2009, 08:57:34 am
love it Windozer
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: The Headacher on September 03, 2009, 01:01:44 pm
(http://www.thebookofbiff.com/comics/2009-08-27-0838.png)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on September 19, 2009, 05:01:29 pm
" There are no known side-effects from the Swine-flu vaccination... "



(http://i650.photobucket.com/albums/uu224/Windoze/grippeimpfung.jpg)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: flip city on September 19, 2009, 09:06:03 pm
6 pics http://www.linuxscrew.com/2008/09/09/weekly-portion-of-linux-humor-6-pics/#more-595 (http://www.linuxscrew.com/2008/09/09/weekly-portion-of-linux-humor-6-pics/#more-595)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on September 23, 2009, 06:11:27 pm
And then there's THIS gem:


http://www.linuxscrew.com/2007/11/26/microsoft-tells-how-to-recover-data-using-linux/


 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: M0E-lnx on October 01, 2009, 06:38:50 am
Google recently attacked an opensource android developer, and hitler is not happy about this
http://m0e-lnx.blogspot.com/2009/09/google-mad-open-source-developer.html
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Daniel on November 07, 2009, 07:06:28 pm
he he he... (see attachment)
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: hippyredneck on November 17, 2009, 09:56:03 pm
Jeffery Dahmer's mother came to his home for dinner one evening.

Over the course of the meal, mother finally spoke to Jeffery, saying "Jeffery, I don't like this neighborhood, and I don't like your neighbors".

Jeffery replied, "Try the salad then, mom."  ;D
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on November 22, 2009, 10:08:43 pm
(http://i48.tinypic.com/2wlrarr.jpg)

After two tours of duty in Vietnam, Corporal Harold "Slaughterhouse" Boyle was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps and worked for several years as a programmer in the defense industry. Unable to readjust fully to civilian life, he eventually fell behind in his work and became unemployed in 1983

He was last seen near the woods by his hometown of Portland, Oregon
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Windozer on November 30, 2009, 05:52:30 pm
Kids don't try this at home (unless you have nothing better to do :))

http://www.blendtec.com/willitblend/videos.aspx?type=unsafe&video=ipod
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Daniel on December 20, 2009, 03:06:40 pm
This is a picture of Severe Weather Channel 9-2 broadcasting a BSOD.
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: w2ibc on December 22, 2009, 01:46:02 pm
This is a picture of Severe Weather Channel 9-2 broadcasting a BSOD.

they should have used linux
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: schmatzler on December 22, 2009, 03:05:24 pm
Nice^^
Title: Re: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff
Post by: Triarius Fidelis on January 03, 2010, 07:43:34 am
(http://www.flashasylum.com/db/files/Comics/Rob/car2.png)