hanumizzle ... though I don't know anything about you except from your great work with VL and your extremely helpful posts in these forums, you have my sympathy that this worked out so badly. Though I don't have Asperger's, I have a friend who does, and I myself am extremely shy (if I went to a psychotherapist I would probably be diagnosed with Social Phobia or something like that). So, I might (might!) have a little bit of an idea of what you're going through. I just turned 40 a week ago Saturday, and didn't meet my girlfriend until 5 years ago. I met her in a book club which I joined to discuss ideas (not to meet women - I had long since given up on that) and she just happened to be interested in many of the same things I am. Things developed from there. Anyway, I'm not suggesting you join a book club (or, with all due respect to nightflier, a social club, a gym, or something similar). Nevertheless, I do think that it is very likely that there are women out there who are right for you, including women who would understand your difficulty with small talk and so on. You might meet someone by chance, as happened to me, though I would suggest that you keep looking. You seem like a very intelligent guy. It might help you to approach this challenge as you would other intellectual challenges; quite possibly you'll come up with some ideas about how to meet someone who is right for you.
Just my .02.
P.S. What you're going through does suck. There's no getting around it. When I was 25 the girl I was in love with not only married another guy but also failed to give back (stole!) my leather jacket. The last time I saw it the guy she ended up marrying was wearing it.