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Author Topic: this sucks—but there may be a way out  (Read 29126 times)
Colonel Panic
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« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2007, 11:11:59 pm »

When I was 25 the girl I was in love with not only married another guy but also failed to give back (stole!) my leather jacket. The last time I saw it the guy she ended up marrying was wearing it.


Oh noes! Glad you eventually found someone though.
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rbistolfi
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« Reply #16 on: May 03, 2007, 08:38:22 am »

Quote
Quote from: rbistolfi on May 02, 2007, 10:03:31 AM
the pain will flow too.

Yes—in Gimlé...

Hey, we will have a lot of sunny days before we finally meet in Gimlé...

About languages... I am from Argentina, so a spanish speaker. I am a philosophy student/lover/writer too. I think one of the more importants man of spanish language was Miguel de Unamuno. He learned Danish to read Søren Kierkegaard and translate it to spanish. This is the beginning of Existentialism for spanish speakers. Miguel discovered there was a different meaning in the word for being. In danish it have a transitive character there is not in spanish. This makes the difference between substance and accident, between noumenon and phaenomenon null. The same thing in Germanic languages. I really wanted to study all this kind of languages, but I did not, yet. I spend some time with latin and greek, nothing else. Greek mythology was my interest too, I know you enjoy nordic (this world really needs Balder, damn). I spend a lot of time with linux now.
The thing is, I told about this things to my girl... a lot. She was really bored sometimes. But she is my wife now, and we have a daughter. Reading philosophy a lot can make a guy a bit weird. Some days I cant go out, I cant speak with people, I am too worried in being and nothing, in sein and zeit and I dont know what other things, I get lost in another world, but she still with me. So, looks like there is one girl for every man.
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"There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite."
Jorge Luis Borges, Avatars of the Tortoise.

--
Jumalauta!!
Triarius Fidelis
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Domine, exaudi vocem meam


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« Reply #17 on: May 03, 2007, 11:27:54 am »

Hanumizzle,

I don't know your exact age, but my guess is that time is on your side. Both for healing and getting there.

Come May 19, 19!
« Last Edit: May 03, 2007, 11:01:32 pm by hanumizzle » Logged

"Leatherface, you BITCH! Ho Chi Minh, hah hah hah!"

Formerly known as "Epic Fail Guy" and "Döden" in recent months
nightflier
Administrator
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Posts: 4020



« Reply #18 on: May 03, 2007, 10:55:05 pm »

Come may May 19, 19!

Ah, to be a kid again.....

I have children older than you. My observation is that your status is far from unique. At that age there is still a lot to learn, like patience, among other things Wink

Happy upcoming Birthday!
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Triarius Fidelis
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« Reply #19 on: May 04, 2007, 12:16:08 am »

Come may May 19, 19!

Ah, to be a kid again.....

It sucks. I will never look on it fondly.

I know I sound bitter, but there's a reason people think I'm in my mid-twenties: youth has been crushed out of me completely.
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"Leatherface, you BITCH! Ho Chi Minh, hah hah hah!"

Formerly known as "Epic Fail Guy" and "Döden" in recent months
nightflier
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« Reply #20 on: May 04, 2007, 04:20:45 am »

I am truly sorry.
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Vanger
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« Reply #21 on: May 04, 2007, 10:09:23 am »

There is a way out. Just live.

If you search only in areas, that you prefer:
Quote
Linux
Mythology
True metal
True metal
True metal
you're making a big mistake. Though common - I thought the same too ;) .
1) You think, that your girlfriend should be fond of the same things as you.
Why? If she listens only punk-rock - she's a lost case to you automatically? If she is lovely overall, I don't think you'd reject her. But, with this search method, you leave her beyond the scope.
2) You think, that your areas are limited only within those above.
Why? Why can't you suddenly find new, unexplored areas of interest? Why can't your gf show you it?
Your view is narrowed. Your search field is limited. Do you want it to go this way?

Don't use dating sites.
I know only one relationship that started from these services and went good (they are married now and are waiting a child ;) ). These two send their photos on the site just for fun.
If you would rely on them heavily, you'll only get frustrated.

Pen-friends.
Well.. Distance kills relationship.
Once I met a girl from another city in ICQ. We wrote articles in the same computer games magazine. To be short and quick - we had relationship, we had sex, but ultimately lack of synchronization of feelings killed all that.

So, once again. Stand up from the computer, get a life ;) .
I'm almost positive, that you need a physical training. That will make you more healthy, more physical attractive and you will spend more time with different real people. And, after all, you need enough stamina to perform you-know-what ;) .
Also, care about your appearance. Girl won't care about t-shirt with an image like http://funkysouls.com/img/Cannibal_Corpse_-_Tomb_of_Mutilated.jpg . But if this shirt is dirty, you smell and your hair isn't clean - you don't have much chances.
Most good jobs are offered to you via your friends. Most good girls get into your life randomly.

So just live your life and don't miss her ;) .
« Last Edit: May 04, 2007, 10:19:58 am by Vanger » Logged

Running silent, running deep
Triarius Fidelis
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« Reply #22 on: May 04, 2007, 11:41:05 am »

There is a way out. Just live.

If you search only in areas, that you prefer:
Quote
Linux
Mythology
True metal
True metal
True metal
you're making a big mistake. Though common - I thought the same too Wink .
1) You think, that your girlfriend should be fond of the same things as you.
Why? If she listens only punk-rock - she's a lost case to you automatically? If she is lovely overall, I don't think you'd reject her. But, with this search method, you leave her beyond the scope.
2) You think, that your areas are limited only within those above.
Why? Why can't you suddenly find new, unexplored areas of interest?

The one-word answer: autism. The longer answer is that I've tried to feign interest in pop culture and such, but it could never rub off on me. Actually, the first thing I think of when I see the letters gf together is the Product or Quotient Rule, and I'm not even that good at calculus...

And no, she isn't a lost case to me even if she does like punk rock—although it is a sign of poor taste. Cheesy

Also, care about your appearance. Girl won't care about t-shirt with an image like http://funkysouls.com/img/Cannibal_Corpse_-_Tomb_of_Mutilated.jpg . But if this shirt is dirty, you smell and your hair isn't clean - you don't have much chances.

With all due respect, that statement assumes too much. First of all—like my ancestors—I practice thorough hygiene even if one might think that I don't. Here is a recent picture of me for an idea of what I look like:

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"Leatherface, you BITCH! Ho Chi Minh, hah hah hah!"

Formerly known as "Epic Fail Guy" and "Döden" in recent months
Vanger
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« Reply #23 on: May 04, 2007, 12:25:49 pm »

The one-word answer: autism. The longer answer is that I've tried to feign interest in pop culture and such, but it could never rub off on me.
You don't need to be interested in. And, if you try to get in the pop culture, you have to sacrifice your brain. It's, of course,  your private decision, but please, make new vasm first, don't leave us now Wink .

Quote
And no, she isn't a lost case to me even if she does like punk rock—although it is a sign of poor taste. Cheesy
Well, my girlfriend is slowly moving from 80's rock to black metal Wink . The tastes are changing. The soul remains.

Quote
With all due respect, that statement assumes too much. First of all—like my ancestors—I practice thorough hygiene even if one might think that I don't.

That's a rarity Wink . That's a plus Wink .

Quote
Here is a recent picture of me for an idea of what I look like:
Well, my girlfriend said, that your face is kind of interesting. There is nothing repulsive in it, but nothing attracting. She advices you to shave your beard off, and make your haircut more accurate - that will make your face look like a.. young attractive face. She even says, that it would be somewhat similar to mine then: http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b322/faijeya/2007winter/081.jpg (181K)
Also, she advices you to get slightly more weight and keep your back more straight. Get more physical excersices, too.
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Running silent, running deep
Triarius Fidelis
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Domine, exaudi vocem meam


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« Reply #24 on: May 04, 2007, 12:56:17 pm »

I only got my haircut a few days ago. I guess I'll have to comb more often...I'll turn into Tanglehair otherwise.

And I exercise every day really. It's just in my genetics that I have a slight build and there's not much I can do about that. I can't lift heavy weights, but under good circumstances I can run many kilometers without pause or shortness of breath. The fetters of winter have almost broken away and I feel quite healthy now, actually.

I need to keep my Beard Sense though. Otherwise, how will I know if Ninjas are trying to attack me?



NOT THE BEARD!!!
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"Leatherface, you BITCH! Ho Chi Minh, hah hah hah!"

Formerly known as "Epic Fail Guy" and "Döden" in recent months
rbistolfi
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« Reply #25 on: May 04, 2007, 01:34:51 pm »

Hanu, you look nice, dont follow Vanger's girl advice. She has not a good taste  Grin Grin
Hygiene or looks have nothing to do with love. I see nice girls with dirty guys all the time. Actually, the reason of one girl or guy likes another is an old mystery.

Quote
1) You think, that your girlfriend should be fond of the same things as you.
Why?

True.

Quote
Well.. Distance kills relationship.
No. If your distance between you and your girl is equal to zero, then you are in love with yourself. Distance and Difference is the essentia of love.

Logged

"There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite."
Jorge Luis Borges, Avatars of the Tortoise.

--
Jumalauta!!
Vanger
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« Reply #26 on: May 04, 2007, 01:54:59 pm »

I only got my haircut a few days ago. I guess I'll have to comb more often...I'll turn into Tanglehair otherwise.

And I exercise every day really. It's just in my genetics that I have a slight build and there's not much I can do about that. I can't lift heavy weights, but under good circumstances I can run many kilometers without pause or shortness of breath. The fetters of winter have almost broken away and I feel quite healthy now, actually.

I need to keep my Beard Sense though. Otherwise, how will I know if Ninjas are trying to attack me?

NOT THE BEARD!!!

Well, if you feel you're just ideal, then sit and wait Wink .

Hanu, you look nice, dont follow Vanger's girl advice. She has not a good taste  Grin Grin
RRRRR!

Quote
Hygiene or looks have nothing to do with love. I see nice girls with dirty guys all the time. Actually, the reason of one girl or guy likes another is an old mystery.
As far as I know, it's a rarity Wink .

Quote
No. If your distance between you and your girl is equal to zero, then you are in love with yourself. Distance and Difference is the essentia of love.
No. Lack of synchronisation kills. If you are able to teleport - then distance means nothing to you. But then you really need to be afraid of telefrags Wink .
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Running silent, running deep
Triarius Fidelis
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Domine, exaudi vocem meam


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« Reply #27 on: May 04, 2007, 02:00:06 pm »

Well, hygiene should be a high priority on everyone's list, because it's a health and safety issue, not just aesthetic. Myself, I feel positively filthy if I don't shower after a single day.

I really think I could maintain a distance relationship—because people are drawn to me for my mental and character attributes. And so much the better to meet her in person then, right?
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"Leatherface, you BITCH! Ho Chi Minh, hah hah hah!"

Formerly known as "Epic Fail Guy" and "Döden" in recent months
Vanger
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« Reply #28 on: May 04, 2007, 02:14:11 pm »

Try to. I'm not positive about this type, though.

Love is not just a poetic alliance of souls. Personally I can't help carry heavy bags, or calm a girl, worried by something on distance. Support, real, material is needed.. well, maybe I'm too materialistic and earth-bounded. Wish you luck Wink .
« Last Edit: May 04, 2007, 02:24:46 pm by Vanger » Logged

Running silent, running deep
rbistolfi
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« Reply #29 on: May 04, 2007, 02:15:37 pm »

Quote
I really think I could maintain a distance relationship—because people are drawn to me for my mental and character attributes. And so much the better to meet her in person then, right?

I really could maintain a distance relationship myself, but I really think this is diff for everyone. But I dont think the distance is an advantage per se in any case. If you think asperger or austism or wharever  is against you, you are wrong, a nice person (girl or not) will understand if you tell about it, a decent person will. So, distance is not a condition (in spanish we say "condicion de posibilidad", translating Kant, I cant write it in english).

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"There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite."
Jorge Luis Borges, Avatars of the Tortoise.

--
Jumalauta!!
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