I am posting this really to help others rather than as a cry for help as I have managed to implement a work around for now. But if anyone has any ideas or suggestions please feel free to post.
Been having a slight problem login into VL5.9 standard pretty much ever since I installed. Initially I thought I must have typed my password incorrectly but as time went on I figured I can't be that bad at typing....can I?. I eventually changed my password to be just the enter key thinking I can't possibly get that wrong yet still I had problems. What happens is I hit enter at the kdm login screen, xfce goes through its start-up process then sometimes it all works and other times I get bounced back to the kdm login screen. Well this has been going on for a couple of months now so I decided it was about time I tried to figure out what was going on.
I started by trying a number of restarts to try and get feel for how bad this issue was, well out of 11 restarts 6 worked OK and 5 bounced me back to the kdm login screen and one of those bounced me back twice, you can see why it has become a little frustrating. Next I performed the same test on VL light on the machine 10 out of 10 OK, then I tried on a fresh install of VL5.9 standard and once again 10 out of 10 OK. At this point I decided that perhaps I had messed something up on my original install so I set about installing the apps I need and tweaking the new install to suit my needs well what can I say.....I'd just about finished and I discover that my login issue had returned...oh flip it!!

To cut an even longer story short my wife prefers to single click the limited number of desktop icon she has. As many of you know xfce does not support single click desktop icons so to overcome this I remove all but the trash can icon and use wbar to provide single click functionality. To remove individual default icons I created a file called xfdesktoprc and placed this in /home/mywife/.config/xfce4/desktop as described on the xfce website. Well what do you know it's this very file that gives this strange login behavior why I know not.
[file-icons]
show-filesystem=false
show-home=false
show-trash=true
show-removable=false
I have tried reducing the file to a single line, setting everything to true and false but still I have login problems, the only way to fix them is to either remove or rename the file. At this stage I'm not sure is this is a xfce issue or a vl issue, I have a xubuntu disk somewhere so I might give that a try and see what that does but in the mean time if anyone has any ideas please speak up.
One thing I should point out is although I refer to this as a login issue I think it's more of a xfce start issue because if you do incorrectly type your password you get a message telling you so, in this case I just get bounced back to the login screen after xfce has failed to start.
Chris