Sorry, bud, I had a good thing going but you-know-who got word of it and now all of the toasters have Windows CE installed on them. That's why toast takes so much longer to make now.
For a while there, a lot of toast came out looking like this:
That was back in the 90s. But then the US Justice Department sued them, and they had to make take the logo off the toast.
Nowadays, in order to put a different OS on any toaster, you have to buy a special modchip, probably an illegal one, and then do a bunch of stuff like compile a special kernel. I probably shouldn't be telling you all this, because of the non-disclosure agreement from the settlement. Can't distribute ToasterNix anymore though.