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Author Topic: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff  (Read 53844 times)
tomh38
Vectorian
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Posts: 913



« Reply #105 on: March 29, 2009, 10:54:09 pm »

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"I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." - Linus Torvalds, April 1991
rbistolfi
Packager
Vectorian
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Posts: 2290


« Reply #106 on: March 30, 2009, 06:53:32 am »



Translation of the single line:
Quote
- Hi Rome? Please, with the Pope, it is urgent...
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"There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite."
Jorge Luis Borges, Avatars of the Tortoise.

--
Jumalauta!!
M0E-lnx
Administrator
Vectorian
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Posts: 3192



« Reply #107 on: March 30, 2009, 07:17:41 am »

LOL
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Windozer
Vectorite
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #108 on: March 30, 2009, 11:09:17 am »

hola Rodirigo !

with or without translation, that's good for a few LOL's Smiley

How do you say "that's hilarious" in Spanish?

- H

PS @ Tom --- I wonder if Bill Gates sees such things in bad dreams ;-)
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
M0E-lnx
Administrator
Vectorian
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Posts: 3192



« Reply #109 on: March 31, 2009, 06:57:11 am »

Ok.. This has nothing to do with linux, but still hilarious... I thought i'd share it with everyone

There is quite a few images, so I had to do the thumbnail thingie...

Brace yourselves.

 

DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE












EFFECTIVE MARCH 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin boa rd under the 'Chronic Offenders'category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.


Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management


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Windozer
Vectorite
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #110 on: April 01, 2009, 10:34:55 am »

"All your personal World Wide Website belong to CADIE"

Don't forget to 'poke the panda'!


http://cadiesingularity.blogspot.com/
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
M0E-lnx
Administrator
Vectorian
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Posts: 3192



« Reply #111 on: April 01, 2009, 10:55:59 am »

I'm sorry ... what?
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Windozer
Vectorite
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #112 on: April 01, 2009, 11:07:12 am »

top left-hand corner of that official google link !
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
M0E-lnx
Administrator
Vectorian
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Posts: 3192



« Reply #113 on: April 01, 2009, 11:26:19 am »

ahh... I think I get it now...

"win a free google search"? WTH?
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Windozer
Vectorite
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #114 on: April 01, 2009, 06:08:09 pm »

M0E, it's google's traditional, annual April fools joke  Grin Grin
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
blurymind
Packager
Vectorian
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Posts: 1082



« Reply #115 on: April 04, 2009, 10:55:24 am »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVAH2KlvOBA

the classic windows el33t haxorer  Tongue
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status: playing around with new tablet and learning to 3d :p
google page :  http://blurymind.googlepages.com
DA PAGE :  http://www.blurymind.deviantart.com/
The Headacher
Louder than you
Global Moderator
Vectorian
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Posts: 1553


I like the bass to go BOOM!


WWW
« Reply #116 on: April 05, 2009, 01:06:02 am »

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Most music on my soundcloud page was arranged in programs running on VL.
Windozer
Vectorite
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #117 on: April 10, 2009, 01:26:09 pm »

All your Internets are belong to us!
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
rbistolfi
Packager
Vectorian
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Posts: 2290


« Reply #118 on: April 10, 2009, 08:10:22 pm »

I was reading "Refutaion of Hell" by JL Borges, and I found this very funny. He is evaluating some arguments in favor of the eternity of hell. Borges rejects this idea. For him, the eternity is a Divine attribute and cant be present in hell.
The translation is impossible so this one can't even be bad:

"saying that the punishment has to be infinite because it was against God, who is infinite Being, is like saying that it has to be saint because God is, or that the fault against a tiger is striped."
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"There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite."
Jorge Luis Borges, Avatars of the Tortoise.

--
Jumalauta!!
Windozer
Vectorite
***
Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #119 on: April 11, 2009, 02:00:06 pm »

Rodrigo, can you post the original in the original language?  Grin
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
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