Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff

[nightflier]

Just as I suspected 

Fohgeddabawd the cough syrup, I'm having a stout!

[Triarius Fidelis]

WinDoze

Nice signature you picked out for yourself

However, a more idiomatic translation would be

利纳克斯万岁

That is, Li4 na4 ke4 si1 wan4 sui4 ... I've only ever seen 'wan4 sui4' come at the end and, as the forum Orientalist, I hope this is accurate

[tomh38]

For some reason this is the only version of the infamous laughing Quaker which I find funny.

[Pita]

ad 2) I am GERMAN

Carsten

Then please spell your name korrektly KKKKarsten 

[carsten]

ad 2) I am GERMAN

Carsten

Then please spell your name korrektly KKKKarsten 

 
I am legally entitled to spell my name this way, no fun!
This is the form the name is used by the northern Germans, which by decret de Mufti are superior to the southern crowd of Germany  https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/de/wiki/Carsten

One man runs into a bar....
The second ducks down (very lame joke)

[tomh38]

Carsten,

As far as I'm concerned, you can call yourself M0rph3uS if you like!  On the Intertubes, you can be whoever you want to be.

By the way, I'm 7 feet tall, I have a black belt in six different martial arts, am very muscular, have a degree in theoretical physics, and I can paint perfect Monet reproductions with my feet while typing with my hands.

I was just thinking that if we wanted more women in proportion to men in Linux, all we would really need is for the men to be nicer and more respectful toward women.  If we wanted a higher proportion of men, we would probably have to hire strippers or something.   May that woman in the not safe for work picture that I linked which you shouldn't click if nudity offends you would increase the number of men.

Tom

[Windozer]

ad 2) I am GERMAN

viele Grüße, Carsten!

Hab' ich in Hamburg und Berlin mehrer Jahre rum gegurkt.  In 'Hamburgsgh' spricht mann, ja, beinah zu viel Plaaddüütsch 

ciao,
Howard in Florida
~~~~~~~~~~~
PS. Here, were pretty flat too 

[tomh38]

Wow, Howard in Florida speaks not only some weird dialect of German but also knows the word "ciao."  Impressive. 

[Windozer]

And you forgot the Chinese sig. at the bottom.

Well, if that's not impressive enough, you should know that I've got 67 black belts in Language Impersonation.

"And now for something completely different, a man with" a GPS running Vista:




Found on that same 'naughty' site Tom linked to above. (Say, looks like she's running a dual processor there!) 

(Apologies to our women friends --- know that my wife it 'tweeking my ear lobes right now for that one! OUCH OUCH STOP IT!)

[carsten]

Carsten,

ad 1) As far as I'm concerned, you can call yourself M0rph3uS if you like!  On the Intertubes, you can be whoever you want to be.

ad 2) By the way, I'm 7 feet tall, I have a black belt in six different martial arts, am very muscular, have a degree in theoretical physics, and I can paint perfect Monet reproductions with my feet while typing with my hands.

ad 3) I was just thinking that if we wanted more women in proportion to men in Linux, all we would really need is for the men to be nicer and more respectful toward women.  If we wanted a higher proportion of men, we would probably have to hire strippers or something.   May that woman in the not safe for work picture that I linked which you shouldn't click if nudity offends you would increase the number of men.

Tom

Hy Tom,
ad 1)
I prefer to call myselve Carsten, my enemies (the few still alive and capable of using their vocal chords) can call me whatever they want. But many thanks for your concerns 

ad 2)
No chance against a demented compulsive liar of 5'3" with 30kg overweight, but a licence to issue restraint orders (that is my lawyer, a real mean guy )

ad 3)
You will find hardly somebody more gentle to girls than me 
If we want to make Linux sexy for girls I propose
a) Fine tune the logo (Californian Beach Boy Penguin style)
b) Put it into nicely designed Macintosh style Hardware with decent colours and smooth curves

Otherwise Girls are not in the slightest interested in what is going on under the hood of their car or their computer as long as it works smooth and simple,

Carsten

[tomh38]

ROFLCOPTER



Just sayin', but my girlfriend knows more about automotive engineering than I do (which isn't saying much, but she actually knows quite a bit, such as what a "hemi" is - but she comes from a "car" family, whereas I come from a "drive it until only the rust is holding it together, and then drive it some more until it actually falls apart" family.  I did rebuild bicycles as a young boy, though.  Then my friends and I would drive them up ramps and crash them.  Then we would rebuild them and destroy them again.  Then one of my friends broke his leg, and suddenly we all started either reading books or watching television.

Tom

[carsten]

viele Grüße, Carsten!

Hab' ich in Hamburg und Berlin mehrer Jahre rum gegurkt.  In 'Hamburgsgh' spricht mann, ja, beinah zu viel Plaaddüütsch 

ciao,
Howard in Florida
~~~~~~~~~~~
PS. Here, were pretty flat too 

Hy,
next time you show up in Hamburg give me a call 

Florida, isnt it the home of retired citizens of the US with the official slogan

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

http://www.ahajokes.com/florida_jokes.html

Carsten

[carsten]

ROFLCOPTER


Just sayin', but my girlfriend knows more about automotive engineering than I do (which isn't saying much, but she actually knows quite a bit, such as what a "hemi" is - but she comes from a "car" family

Tom, if for any reason your girlfriend should have taken offense  from my very generalised statement please transmit my most sincere apologizes.
I am more than enthusiastic to invite her for a candle light diner as excuse.  (as I said, you will find hardly somebody more gentle to the fair sex than me)
You can destroy some more bicycles while we are out, I propose, 

Carsten

[tomh38]

Carsten,

Oh, she wouldn't take offense.  She would probably agree with you.  She's actually a stronger advocate of emphasizing the diffences between men and women than I am.

These days, the only things I work on are computers, and I can't wreck them because there's no fun in it and it would be very expensive.

Dilbert


Tom

[Triarius Fidelis]

And you forgot the Chinese sig. at the bottom.

Like I said, you probably want 'wan sui' at the end rather than the beginning. I can't verify whether 'penguin OS' is something someone would actually say (or write).

Cool that you're interested in languages anyway. Bonus points for whoever can guess the antecedent of 'WIR' in my signature.

As for lulz, I've got plenty of them

What Really Happened to Abe Lincoln

The comments knocking transhumanism in this thread are also pretty lulwert:

http://www.metafilter.com/72269/A-satirical-rendering-of-Transhumanism