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Author Topic: Jokes and Jokers go here: Humorous Stuff  (Read 49402 times)
rbistolfi
Packager
Vectorian
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Posts: 2282


« Reply #120 on: April 12, 2009, 07:05:42 am »

Yes Sir, I include the whole paragraph. The sentence I quoted before is at the end:

Quote
Arribo ahora a la parte más inverosimil de mi tarea: las razones elaboradas por la humanidad a favor de la eternidad del infierno. Las resumiré en orden de creciente significación. La primera es de índole disciplinaria: postula que la temibilidad del castigo radica presisamente en su eternidad y que ponerla en duda es invalidar la eficacia del dogma y hacerle el juego al Diablo. Es argumento de orden policial, y no creo merezca refutación. El segundo se escribe así: La pena debe ser infinita porque la culpa lo es, por atentar contra la majestad del Señor, que es Ser infinito. Se ha señalado que esta demostración prueba tanto que se puede colegir que no prueba nada: prueba que no hay culpa venial, que son imperdonables todas las culpas. Yo agregaría que es un caso perfecto de frivolidad escolástica y que su engaño es la pluralidad de sentidos de la voz infinito, que aplicada al Señor quiere decir incondicionado y a pena quiere decir incesante, y a culpa nada que yo sepa entender. Además, argüir que es infinita una falta por ser atentatoria de Dios que es Ser infinito, es como argüir que es santa porque Dios lo es, o como pensar que las injurias inferidas a un tigre han de ser rayadas.

A saw a movie last night, in which some bad guys are invading Buenos Aires. The story happens in the 50's, when all the important things used to happen in a bar Grin. So the good guy, the hero, goes to the bar where the bad guys hang, just to prove his courage. The bar man approachs his table and says:

Quote
- If you don't have something to do, do it in another place.

Cheesy
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"There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite."
Jorge Luis Borges, Avatars of the Tortoise.

--
Jumalauta!!
Windozer
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #121 on: April 15, 2009, 04:55:05 pm »

What is happening when you hear the landscaping foreman outside yelling, "Green side up, brown side down!" ?

Right, they are laying sod.

But what's going on when you hear the foreman yell, "Brown side up, brown side down!" ?

Yep, it's the City laying sod.
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
tomh38
Vectorian
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Posts: 913



« Reply #122 on: April 15, 2009, 10:16:05 pm »

Okay, since I brought up computer security in another thread and didn't get too many bites, here's another XKCD:

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"I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." - Linus Torvalds, April 1991
rbistolfi
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Vectorian
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Posts: 2282


« Reply #123 on: April 16, 2009, 08:37:29 am »

XKCD can't fail.
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"There is a concept which corrupts and upsets all others. I refer not to Evil, whose limited realm is that of ethics; I refer to the infinite."
Jorge Luis Borges, Avatars of the Tortoise.

--
Jumalauta!!
tomh38
Vectorian
****
Posts: 913



« Reply #124 on: April 22, 2009, 11:48:15 am »

News item: kind of embarassing.

http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c16/tomh38/fail-owned-swimmer-trapped-fail.jpg?t=1240429573

Not for the squeemish.  Possibly not safe for work.  If in doubt, don't click.

Tom
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"I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." - Linus Torvalds, April 1991
M0E-lnx
Administrator
Vectorian
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Posts: 3179



« Reply #125 on: April 22, 2009, 01:11:40 pm »

Oohhh.... That sounds painful...
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tomh38
Vectorian
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Posts: 913



« Reply #126 on: April 23, 2009, 03:19:19 am »

M0E-lnx,

I couldn't agree more, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for the guy.  You have to keep close track of your ... stuff ... or it might end up somewhere unpleasant.   Grin

Tom
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"I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." - Linus Torvalds, April 1991
Windozer
Vectorite
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #127 on: April 23, 2009, 01:21:16 pm »

Speaking of misplacing the Family Jewels,

what's wrong with this picture?!



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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
tomh38
Vectorian
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Posts: 913



« Reply #128 on: April 27, 2009, 12:56:16 pm »

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"I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." - Linus Torvalds, April 1991
Windozer
Vectorite
***
Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #129 on: April 29, 2009, 12:41:11 pm »

Under the category ads we'd like to see:





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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
Windozer
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Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #130 on: April 30, 2009, 03:09:26 pm »

When you want a chuckle, watch this site's video (it's too cute to be healthy) --- scroll down mid way...

http://lolcode.com/

(thanks to Tommy599)
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
Windozer
Vectorite
***
Posts: 386


Have Vector Linux, Will Travel.


« Reply #131 on: May 12, 2009, 06:01:48 am »

Normally, puns are considered the lowest form of humor - only slightly above Lawyer jokes  Tongue
These, however, aren't too bad. (And apologies to our non-native English speakers.)

Puns, For the Educated Mind
 ---------------------------

 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 11. A hole has been fouud in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said, 'No change yet.'

 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 21. A backward poet writes inverse.

 22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

 23 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

 24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
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483,617th Registered Linux Snoozer
tomh38
Vectorian
****
Posts: 913



« Reply #132 on: May 20, 2009, 08:24:55 am »

New Bumper Sticker:

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"I'm doing a (free) operating system (just a hobby, won't be big and professional like gnu) for 386(486) AT clones." - Linus Torvalds, April 1991
Masta
Global Moderator
Vectorian
*****
Posts: 725



« Reply #133 on: May 21, 2009, 10:02:29 pm »

New Bumper Sticker:


that's just NOT funny    ....   lol
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Triarius Fidelis
Vecteloper
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Posts: 2399


Domine, exaudi vocem meam


WWW
« Reply #134 on: May 23, 2009, 03:32:54 am »

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"Leatherface, you BITCH! Ho Chi Minh, hah hah hah!"

Formerly known as "Epic Fail Guy" and "Döden" in recent months
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