Welcome to the forum, Behemoth!
This place has some very supportive people.
I'm posting this right now from a PIII 450mHz machine I was tempted to toss, but instead installed VL 6
Light, RC2. It sets up ICEwm for the DE. Actually pretty snappy for this machine. Only a few very minor glitches so far. VL is really stable.
"Crunchbang" --- hadn't heard of that distro! Sounds just slightly less problematic than one named "SmashExplode" !
- Howard in Florida