k critique my ideas and say which one you like the most
- The Assyrian king Sennacherib is cloned from an ancient DNA sample. He is part of a study to see how much genes influence behavior: no one tells him he's Sennacherib, and none know but the researchers. And not only does he merely "fit" into modern society, he claws his way to the top of a major military contractor and is wildly successful. Autonomous weapons made under his rule as CEO are used to subjugate most of the land in the former Assyrian empire.
- A sentient extraterrestrial species assumes a system equivalent to postmodernism for a worldwide philosophy. Science and math are assailed as tools of privileged elements in society; their objectivity and usefulness are rejected entirely. Their society stagnates, taking on medieval characteristics, and continues thus for billions of years. Even as their dying sun loses its ability to support them, they are busy quibbling about "capitalist sexual identity" and "textual subsemiotic theory". Their star grows to massive size and envelops their planet. Fortunately, nobody ever learns about them, because they never developed radio astronomy.
- A Colossus-like computer is put in charge of homeland security. It begins to obsess over peanut allergies, which, it notes, kill more people than the dreadful act of terrorism, and orders sweeping arrests of anyone selling peanut products. The US government becomes a world laughingstock, terrorism ceases to be a substantial concern as the US ceases to meddle in the Middle East, and the possession of peanut products with intent to distribute remains outlawed under the penalty of 25 years to life in prison.
- A rebellion topples the Qin dynasty of China and replace Legalism with Mohism as the state doctrine. Although government remains customarily despotic, argument and reason become central to public life, and free speech is generally encouraged. Before long, modern science and mathematics grow explosively in the East. In the year 1209 C.E., when technology has reached its current level in real life, a Chinese history teacher concludes her lesson on European and Middle Eastern history to high school students with a reminder that, despite their cultural trends, the people inhabiting these lands are not exclusively backwards, superstitious, and gullible.
- The Epicurean prescriptions of modern psychiatry come before their time in Europe and America. Recluses such as Karl Wilhelm Scheele and Isaac Newton are encouraged to "open up", and use their prodigious talents to become prolific writers of crappy popular novels. Several hundred years later, psychiatrists from all over Europe, who are now an incredibly wealthy class unto themselves, convene in Paris. (Having traveled by horse and wagon, of course: no modern vehicles had been invented by then.) A gang of robbers takes the opportunity to kill them and take away their substantial possessions. One of them survives his wounds and is cured by a country doctor living in poverty. While healing in his home, he sees the sublime satisfaction the doctor takes in chemical experiments (the story will obliquely mention that the doctor has isolated oxygen, as the poor, introverted Scheele really did), and concludes at the end of the story that the mindless pursuit of happiness at the expense of the higher pursuits is foolish.
- The story is dressed as a recent finding in the possessions of Karel Čapek, a missing act from Rossum's Universal Robots. The act consists of a debate between Radius, the leader of the robots, and another named Alexandr (Czech for Greek "Alexander", "defender of mankind"). Alexandr believes humans ought to be on equal footing with robots. Radius clearly disagrees. They debate this point using the criteria for personhood we apply to ourselves in philosophy, before an audience of their own kind. Radius raises a spirited defense, pointing out the stupidity of the average person, and wins the debate. He incites his followers to smash Alexandr to bits. His few remaining supporters are destroyed in a hail of gunfire, and the revolt continues more or less unabated.
- Two mischievous alien adolescents are bragging about their pranks throughout the cosmos. One boasts that he filled the atmosphere of a planet with helium, so that its inhabitants became squeaky-voiced, and played a kind of intergalactic "Ding-Dong-Ditch" with their astronomers. "Oh, that's nothing!" says the other. His friend is skeptical, and asks what he could have done. The other plainly describes the introduction of Abrahamic religion on Earth in his own words, and its repercussions to the present day, even the reactionary extremes of groups like Satanists and secular humanists. He leans back in his chair, lacing the fingers of his four hands behind his head smugly, and concludes "I sure pulled one over on them."
« Last Edit: June 04, 2009, 01:28:58 am by Colonel Xie »
"Leatherface, you BITCH! Ho Chi Minh, hah hah hah!"
Formerly known as "Epic Fail Guy" and "Döden" in recent months